ink_sec_sims: (van dort family)
[personal profile] ink_sec_sims
A month between updates is almost standard with me now.


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Scraps: Why is the mean lady cleaning out my dish? Is she planning to poison me?
Nell: Lucky for you, the Voice doesn't indulge in those hacks.
And I'd make you drink it first, Nell.

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Victor: Nothing like a little razzle to distract you from the void of despair under our feet, right Scraps?
Yeah, my game is definitely showing its age.

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Cans of soda = best friends! Granted, giving out gifts of any sort may be the only way Nell can make friends at all.

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Victor: Banging on broken faucets with a wrench fixes them, right?

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Nope.
. . .All right, yes, but your mechanical skill isn't high enough for that to work every time.

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Victor: I am one FINE-looking piece of Sim. *softer* I did that right, yeah?
You did indeed, sweetie, you did indeed. Now go grab some cojones and ask a certain lady out!

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Victor: So, ah, A-Alice, you -- doyouwanttogoouttoMcGee'sDinerofDoomit'sokayifyousayno.
. . .I told you to grab your cojones.
Victor: You don't have those ha -- yes? Okay, I'll grab the carriage and pick you up!
You're lucky I write her as being charmed by your shyness.

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Welcome to your first date! Your first date of DOOOOOOOM.
Alice: The breakdancer rather spoils the effect.
Have you seen bad breakdancing?

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Victor + Alice: hahaha slapping each other's hands is hilarious
hahaha I still don't get why this is the highest-scoring game social-wise

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Alice: I dunno, Victor -- while it's nice to be recognized, those hobby cards are kind of useless in the long run, aren't they?
Victor: Oh come on, the lots they lead to are probably great.
I've seen some of them, Victor -- LISTEN TO ALICE.

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Alice: I wouldn't mind moving to the big SimCity one day.
You don't do well in cities, Alice. Trust me on this.

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*sings* He's a Pinball Wizard~
Alice: Aren't we on a date?
You could play too.

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Victor: . . .What on earth is she DOING?
I don't know and I'm pretty sure it's illegal in 49 states and Puerto Rico.

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Victor: Oh yes, I agree that two best friends playing pinball would be lots of fun. But YOU'RE A COMPLETE STRANGER AND I'M ON A DATE.

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Lucy: Hey, I'm Lucy Leech!
Victor: Uh, hey, Victor Van Dort. . .I'm kind of on a date, so why are you introducing yourself to me?
Lucy: Because the guy behind me walking up to your date promised me half the profits from snagging her wallet to distract you.

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Alice: You want to be shown the front of a train, asshole?
Unsavory Charlatan: Abort mission! Abort mission!
That's what you get for screwing with her, dude. You're lucky I haven't given her the Vorpal Blade to carry around.
Unsavory Charlatan: I thought you didn't --
It's one of those decorative things that ends up under "glasses" because there's no "carry around this shit" category. As far as I KNOW it can't be used for stabbing. . .
Unsavory Charlatan: Leaving neighborhood forever now bye

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Victor: Um, so this date has gotten really off track. . . I think you're beautiful and I'd love for us to hang out more.
Alice: Track successfully switched, I think!

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Victor: So, I was thinking of having 500 pieces of cake for my dinner. What do you want?

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Alice: Lobster Thermidor. Tasty, and I can rub it on that lady's face over there if she even thinks of interrupting our date.

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Waitress: HELLO I'M HIGH AS A KITE DON'T YOU THINK THE WALLS WOULD LOOK SO MUCH BETTER WITH PURPLE AND YELLOW POLKA DOTS CAN I RECOMMEND THE GRILLED BABY WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR ASSETS FROZEN BEFORE EATING GOD I'M SO HIGH RIGHT NOW

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Victor: I think we could both use some alcohol after that encounter. A toast to making it out of this date with all our limbs!
Alice: I'll drink to that!

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Victor: Wow. . .your fingers fit almost perfectly in mine.
Alice: It's enough to make you fall in love.
Except I'm not seeing any heartfarting from the headpans. O.o Game, stop glitching out on me!

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Alice: Is it just me or is it taking forever to get our food?
Waitress: LET'S JUGGLE ALL THE KNIVES
Victor: . . .Maybe we don't want to actually eat here.

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Alice: You're such a sweet guy, Victor. I have no idea why I'm not falling in love with you.
Me either! IT'S SPRING, FOR ME'S SAKE, THROW ME A BONE HERE

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Victor: Would a backrub help?
Alice: Yes, but karate chops to the back also feel great.

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When the ominous cloud of doom appears above your restaurant, you know it's time to cut your losses and go home. At least the date got classed as "Good."

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Alice: He's so dreamy.
THEN FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM ALREADY! Damn -- when does "The Sims 4" come out again?

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Congratulations! You painted a sloppy gradient of colors! This game and its ideas of art. . .

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Victor: Thanks for the chocolate banana pancakes, Mum.
Nell: You're welcome. But you're sure you can't take the dog to college?
Victor: Positive, the EP doesn't work well with Pets.

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Incongruous things happening at the Van Dort household: William rocking out on guitar and Nell digging in the dirt.

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Mayhew: WOOO YEAH AWESOME NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT FIRE ME OTHERWISE
Fire you from WHAT? You're the only one with an actual steady job around here.
Mayhew: . . .So I can tell him he sucks as much as I want?
Go for it.
Mayhew: I've heard more musical notes in a barnyard!

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Nell: I worked my delicate fingers to the bone for a ROCK?!
Yes. This game is evil.
Nell: We established that with the cougar "good" witch -- I don't need rocks to confirm it!

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Mayhew: So I heard you can read your way to maximized Logic if you get a special bookcase.
How the hell do you know what happens in my Strangetown family?
Mayhew: How do you think we all pass the time between updates?
I must acknowledge I deserve that.

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Nell: William, must you lavish affection on that mangy mutt?
William: I'm actually teaching him "Stay," dear. You know, the command that keeps him away from you?
Nell: Carry on immediately!

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Scraps: Maybe if I ignore him he'll think I've learned it and then I can pester mean lady all I want.
William: Voice in the Sky didn't specify that as "thinking," Scraps.
Scraps: Oh sh-- I mean, woof.

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Scraps: Okay, okay, I'll learn the dumb command for real.
Mayhew: Think of it this way, Scraps -- the more commands you know, the more you're worth!
Scraps: THANKS, Mayhew. Give the mean lady MORE reasons to sell me.

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Mayhew: Rather than losing ships to giant floating icebergs, we should make our ships OUT of giant floating icebergs!
Instead of making an actual joke, write something that just LOOKS like an actual joke!

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Victor: Does "photorealistic" actually count as such if it's a Sim painting it?
No, it's probably "post-modern" or something like that.

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Victor: Mmm, yellow and red glop.

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Victor: . . .Actually, this is pretty good.
Congratulations, you can feed yourself. This is more than some real people can do.

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Late night fetch after YET ANOTHER BRIEF SNOW SHOWER -- awesome idea! Have fun, you kids!
William: . . .Was that sarcasm or were you sincere?
Even I don't know.


And so ends another trip down Sim Lane! Give me credit for something, at least the updates are getting longer. Next up: more attempts to get Alice and Victor to ACTUALLY FALL IN LOVE.

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