ink_sec_sims: (turret family)
[personal profile] ink_sec_sims
An update just a week after the first one? In which THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPEN?

Yes, you're allowed to wonder if I've been abducted by Sims 1-style aliens and had my personality flipped.


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Wheatley: I loooove pie!
Don't worry -- I meant "with a Sim" in the "Someone Has Successful Romancing" cut text.

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Steve: Wooo! My pinball playing skills are AWESOME! You saw that, right Wheatley?
Wheatley: Sure did!
Steve: Then you're my new best friend!
Gary: Hey!

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Wheatley: And now off to another successful day of education!
In an outfit I that is so human!Wheatley it hurts me.

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Gary: BURGLARS ARE ASSHOLES
Don't you start! You've never even been robbed!

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Steve: Eh, white is so boring for this car. Let's try blue!
Hang on, you can keep painting this thing? Huh -- well, I know what to do whenever you guys start having boring updates.

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Steve: PAINTING CARS MAKES ME WANT TO CATCH BUTTERFLIES~
I rather think that's the pain fumes talking, bud. How about we put this car that you so desperately wanted to actual use?

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Like, say, visiting the Inkwell Bar! Which is looking pretty empty at the moment. . .then again, this is probably just a reflection of my inability to build decently-sized buildings.

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Steve: Hey, bartender! Can I get some service over here near the equator?

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A true portrait of a lonely, desperate, video-game-obsessed robot-turned-human.
Steve: Being unnecessarily convoluted is what makes me drink.

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Steve: Man, is Kimberly hot stuff!
Man, is Kimberly married!
Steve: Oh come on, all the good Sims journals have infidelity!
Can you at least wait until her kid is in college?

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Steve: Why make me a Pleasure Sim and then never let me kiss anybody?
Elizabeth Aspir: Didn't you have something going with Natasha Una once?
Steve: Until your -- brother? Husband? Son? -- screwed it up. . .
I'm too lazy to look up the specifics.

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Steve: Ha-ha! Revenge on your family is mine!
Elizabeth: You won ten simoleons.
Steve: That counts as revenge!
Elizabeth: And it may have been Mayhew's money.
Steve: IT COUNTS AS REVENGE

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Back at home, we have, as usual, NEVER-FUCKING-ENDING SNOW SHOWERS. Look, game, it's getting pretty cold outside my window these days. SUMMER IN THE SIMS IS ALL I HAVE NOW.

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Wheatley: I got promoted to Elementary School Teacher! That deserves pie, right?
Yes, and an apology bouquet for all the Sims whose children will now be learning things like "elementary hacking" from you.
Wheatley: Smashing windows open is an important life skill!
. . .Well, this is a game with "Crime" as an actual career. . .

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Gary: Hey. Tammy Hutchins, right? Shouldn't you have some grand and glorious stage name?
Tammy: Developers didn't think of it. But now that you have, call me TAMMY GODDESS OF LOVE.

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Gary: All right, Tammy, Goddess of Love, I recently got promoted and now I want a date.
Tammy: You willing to cough up the dough for a decent one? Or is your Voice more the type for a comedy of errors?

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Gary: Fortunately I live in a household where two people got promotion bonuses and the third got a great cookbook deal. Have almost the maximum amount, you greedy wench.
Tammy: You do know how to win a girl's heart.

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Tammy: Okay, just let me get my glow on. . .
Gary: Oooooh, shiny!
Tammy: Hmmm, could just pocket the cash and send you on a date with the ball. . .

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Tammy: And here is your date! Her name is Kenya Siew.
Gary: Isn't that -- kind of racist?
Tammy: Our names are chosen by an algorithm known for goofy combinations. It might be more racist to comment on it.

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Brenda?: Hey, Gary! I'm just going to walk by looking attractive in an outfit that could be called vaguely steampunk!
Gary: Why is it chicks only start showing up AFTER you've got the date?

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Kenya: So I haven't really decided what I'm going to do with my life yet --
Gary: That's the "undecided major" symbol! You're a DORMIE?!
Yeah, and I've actually dealt with her before in an old neighborhood! She was "Kitty" there. She's a Romance Sim, but I remember her being a decent character once I got control of her.
Gary: I hope so. I don't need her pissing herself on our date.

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Gary: Uh, so -- do you want to throw a football around?
Kenya: . . .All right, so I'm definitely not a Sports major.
Because it's not a day with these guys without some fail.

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To my surprise, though, he pulls off some successful charming.

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Some very successful charming!
Gary: Holy crap, I've gotten a girl to like me!
World ending in three. . .two. . .

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Steve: . . .Are you having a successful date right in front of me?!
Gary's life ending in three. . .two. . .

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Wheatley: No, they haven't kissed yet. They're just -- dancing outside. For no reason. Is that a thing organics do?
In The Sims, yes.

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Gary: MAN I wish this game allowed for hickeys! Your neck is just PERFECT for them.
Well that, like solo woohoo in The Sims 4, is just a pipe dream.

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Kenya: Bubbles make talking about time cards funny!

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Gary: Uh -- I'm right in the middle of a date. Do you really think making me take a bath is a good idea?

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Your date is a college girl and your house has a bubble blower. You'll be fine.

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screenshot windows
Kenya: Thanks for paying so much for me! I had a great time.
Gary: Me too, but WOW is that bad without the context.
Or even with, honestly. Let's run while we can!


And shockingly, another cycle is complete! Next up -- a wedding! Those are fun, right?

(This is where you say yes.)
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